thusday....went to school.....en.zaidi annouce dat all the performers go to dewan to have raptai....dat day...i feel so malu...i went to dewan...no one tell me that i was not performing....until i saw kenneth...i ask him...because y jeh ying and suet yi they all are not down here yet...so i ask him...izit i have been cancel from this hari guru??but is also hard to tell that a friend of your are not enter...i know that he has that type of feeling...but he just say to me dat he is sorry.....nvm...is not his fault also....then i slowly walk out of the dewan....that day....i have been very down.....i was pretent to be ok....but i side there....is bleeding non-stop....but lucky....no one notice me....cus i have been left out....they didn see my ugly face.....rehat that time...i walk down....i pass something to pn.cheong..den suet yi tell me we are not in....i tell her in know...but i thought they will cheer me or wat la.....but they are keep on toking to them and ones again i am not been notice....haiz.....sometimes...being strong...is a very hard thing....i am always pretent to be hard....sometimes....i wan to just....quit everything....i wan to end this world....cus this road.....is far and very hard to walk on....but...at the same time....i saw china there having much much more serious problem then i am having.....

their sadness....pain....and fear.....i feel so guilty....when i saw them....everytime when i saw this....i tell myself....dun give chee guan...u are much more better den them....but i cant help them a single thing....i wanted to help out.....hope that everyone in this world...will live with their love ones....